That Census Fella

Bill Sparkman, Slain Census Worker

[tweetmeme alias="http://bit.ly/9W3UKH"]So I wake up in this here cold sweat. Just a little while ago, ya see? So I wake and I says t’ myself—well—it’s like this, see? That fella…you know the one…that fella what got hisself lynched if you believe the GUHHHH-ver-MEEint. All these here folks blowin’ their tops over this fella don’t know what ah know. It just came t’ me like that—you know, while I was sleepin’. This whole thang is just a—you know—a hoax, just like those missin’ civil rights workers. That guy is tryin’ t’ help Obama with his Neo-Muslim, facist agenda to force communism and socialism on the beacon of democracy. It takes a true Marxist to strip down naked, climb up a tree, put a noose over yer own neck, beat yerself senseless, throw yerself off a chair t’ hang yerself. Then he gits mad cause his dumbass made the rope too long and he starts chokin’ hisself ’til he’s dead. Then, the sombitch writes Fed on his own chest to make people thank someone else done it. And then the LIBERAL MEDIA picks it up and starts harpin’ own-it as if it’s real news. Thank goodness we got FOX NEWS to keep us from gettin’ duped by feeling sympathy for this census fella who shoulda known that if ya go walkin’ uninvited onto folks property yer takin’ yer chainces. Yep, thank goodness that FOX gives us real news about how this black racist Obama is messing the country up! They been tellin’ us about evil government conspiracies, the nobility of secessionist movements, and about how we need to take this country back from Obama’s Muslims. If only Nancy Pelosi had listened to Fox and not incited this killin’ er…um…this suicide with her speech about violence a while back—the one where she started cryin’ the “tears of a clown”—this census guy would still be alive today. So iffen ya want t’ blame someone fer this, blame them gall dang LIBERALS.

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